


Being Alive

by GuacaWuacaFlamez



Category: Marriage Story (2019), Real Person Fiction, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars RPF, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Like the kind people live in, Lots of respect, Movie Set, Movie: Marriage Story, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, No shipping, One Shot, RPF, Singing, Song Lyrics, Stephen Sondheim - Freeform, friends - Freeform, gratitude, movie trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 11:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuacaWuacaFlamez/pseuds/GuacaWuacaFlamez
Summary: In which a request for a meeting about the next day's scenes turns into an impromptu, somewhat-reverent duet between actors.
Relationships: Adam Driver/Daisy Ridley, Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Being Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, dear oh dear

Working on the final Star Wars film is by far the most enjoyable experience Daisy Ridley has had out of all three films she has been a part of. That’s not to say that it isn’t surreal—that element is still very much present and pops up from time to time, not just for her, but for her co-stars as well. But Daisy can’t remember just how frequent the peace and joy within her has manifested during her time spent on the other two films because of the anxiety that always lay dormant beneath the surface of each filming day. She had wanted to do her best, and despite consistent reassurances from JJ and Rian behind the scenes, she had never been quite able to shake off the feeling of inadequacy.

However, therapy and time out of the public eye had done wonders for her mental and emotional health, and now here she was, happy and grateful to be telling the final part of a decades-long story in the making.

Working with John and Oscar more closely was definitely a plus, though she was slightly worried that JJ would get upset with them for ruining so many takes due to them breaking up in strangled snorts from their inside jokes or a botched line. Their director would shake his head and smile before giving a good-natured sigh and calling for another take. There was an undercurrent of understanding and joyful energy in the filming atmosphere, as if everyone present knew, that, because this was the last movie, each moment was to be cherished. They were in the midst of making history, and damn if they weren’t going to enjoy themselves despite a slight sense of fear at the pressure to make the last film meaningful and pleasing for their fans.

And of course, there was Adam.

Kylo Ren himself.

When she had first read the script, she was in a state of warring emotions about the interactions her character and Adam’s character had. There was excitement at being able to engage in more fight scenes with him. There was satisfaction at the arc both Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo would embark on. She cried at some heart-wrenching moments and bit her lip at some of the more emotionally-demanding scenes she would have to do with Adam.

Apparently, Adam had received the script about the same time and had been devouring it just as enthusiastically as her, because near the end of her own read-through, her phone began to buzz.

“What the _fuck_ do you make of this?!” Were Adam’s first words when she answered.

She gave a watery chuckle as she sniffed back the tears.

“Honestly, Adam, it’s just so much to take in. I don’t know how I’m feeling right now.” She blew her nose with a muttered apology into the speaker.

“I know, I know.” There was a heavy sigh on the other end and Daisy imagined that he was running a hand through his dark wavy locks as he searched for the words to say.

They spent the next hour discussing all of the various elements and scenes they wanted to focus on with JJ and Chris the next time they met, and soon after, ended the call.

Daisy smiled as she thought back to that moment. It was going to be a hell of a time getting through the shoot schedule, but at some point in the phone call, Adam had reminded her that, besides the hard work they’d put in, they should also savor their time together, both in their one-on-one scenes and in general with the rest of the cast and crew, because this was their final hurrah.

How right he had been.

* * *

It was a chilly December evening when shooting wrapped for the day. Everyone was in the midst of making plans to go out for dinner.

“Hey Peanut, you coming with?” John shouldered his way through the small throng of people crowding for the studio doors, having already gotten out of his costume and looking comfortable in jeans and a puffer jacket.

Daisy blew out her breath as she thought about the offer. Her mind was still reeling from the last scene of the day she and Adam had filmed, and, truth be told, her emotions were still trying to sort themselves from that moment. It was tempting to stuff down her unprocessed feelings and go have fun with the others, but lately she had been trying to be more honest and caring with herself and… Gauging her emotions, she decided that an early night in would be better.

She shook her head with a regretful smile. “Sorry, Bub, I’m beat and I’m gonna have an early night tonight. Thanks though; maybe we can check out that Thai place on the weekend?”

“No worries, no worries,” John assured her, “take it easy, yeah? We’ll catch up later.”

Daisy made her way to the costume trailer, swapping out Rey’s costume for the comfortable pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie she had tumbled out of bed with earlier that morning.

Her breath danced in the cold night air, and she hurried along at a brisk pace toward her trailer.

“Daisy!”

The voice stopped her in her tracks and she glanced around to locate the source.

Adam strode away from the makeup trailer, his face scar-free but the rest of him still encased in Kylo Ren’s all-black costume.

“Hey, what’s up?” Daisy smiled at him, jogging in place briefly to keep from getting too cold.

“Do you mind going over tomorrow’s scenes with me?” He asked, his calm baritone voice rumbling as he peered down at her. “There were a couple questions I had and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page so that we’ll have plenty of time for takes,” he explained.

“Sure, sounds good. Mind if I get something to eat first and then come over to your trailer?” Daisy asked, beginning to shiver minutely.

“Oh. You’re going with the others tonight?” Adam’s brows furrowed. “Yeah, yeah that’s totally fine. Uh… I guess… Meet up in a couple hours?”

“Oh goodness, no!” Daisy laughed as her brain caught up to the reason for his reaction. “I’m not going with them. I have food in my trailer — give me, like, 30 minutes and then I’ll hop over?”

Adam nodded with a relieved smile. “Yeah, that works.”

Daisy gave him a thumbs-up and they parted ways, she on her quest for food and warmth and he toward the costume trailer to put down his persona of an internationally-known space baddie and become a humble civilian again.

* * *

Hot chocolate with whipped cream and a hazelnut caramel drizzle.

That’s what Daisy wished she could have as she bundled up and left her trailer.

While personal trainers, a fitness team, and stellar craft services provided the cast with a varied menu of healthy dishes to eat in conjunction with their rigorous training regimes, it meant that a lot of the food was cold — freshly chilled salads and cold smoothies, interspersed with proteins like hard-boiled eggs and protein-specific shakes, did little to keep one warm in the middle of the winter.

She tried to ignore the thought of a hot meal and blushed at the way she had scarfed down the hearty salad in an attempt to be on time at her co-star’s trailer. Adam was almost always punctual (a side effect of his former days in the marines, no doubt), and those around him did their best to mind the time as well.

_Tomato bisque with basil and fresh cream would hit the spot._

Daisy almost moaned at the torturous thought her brain popped up with. _Stop it,_ she scolded herself with a pout.

Adam’s trailer was at the end of the lot, which was no surprise as the man preferred privacy and quiet. The surrounding trailers were dark, as their occupants were still enjoying the evening in town together.

As Daisy drew near to his trailer, her ears pricked at the sound of a Broadway tune floating out across the otherwise-silent night. A deep, rich, baritone voice took up the melody.

_Is that… Adam singing?_ She wondered. Curiously mounting the steps, she knocked softly.

The singing stopped abruptly, and footsteps crossed over to open the door.

“Hey, come in,” Adam swung the door open and then spun around quickly to turn down the volume of the small CD player perched on the kitchen counter. An untouched salad sat forlornly at the table near a notebook with scribbles lying atop a pile of loose papers.

She shut the door quickly to avoid letting out any more heat and removed her coat.

“I didn’t know you sing,” she grinned up at him, enjoying the way he flushed and ducked his head. The man was so self-deprecating that his co-stars had fun trying to make him blush from time to time in between takes.

“I don’t.” Adam stated bluntly. “Well, at least, not like you or Oscar,” he amended sheepishly, running his hand through his hair as he looked down at the sheet music he held in the other hand. “I have another movie I’m working on after this and I’ve fallen behind on practicing. Got a Skype lesson with a voice teacher on Saturday and she can tell when I haven’t been practicing.”

Daisy raised her eyebrows. “From what I heard when I was outside, it sounds fairly good. What’re you singing?”

He showed her the music.

“‘Being Alive’ from Company,” he sighed. “It will work well for the scene that I’ll be in but… I’m not a singer.” He shook his head as if the thought was a bad dream he was trying to banish from his memory.

“Cut yourself some slack, Adam,” Daisy chided. “You work so hard; I’m sure you’ll do great!”

He looked like he was ready to protest or throw up, she wasn’t sure which, when he stopped in his tracks. Nervously meeting her eyes, he ventured slowly, “Would you mind if I sang it for you and… maybe you could critique me?”

She began to open her mouth to respond when he backpedaled and began to contradict himself.

“I mean, unless you just want to go through our scenes for tomorrow and then go back to your trailer.” He stammered. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to take up your time or anything, it’s just that you’re a good singer and I thought you’d have more insight on—“

“I can critique you, Adam.” She interrupted him before he could continue second-guessing her thoughts on the idea. “It’s fine.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

He chuckled nervously.

“Feel free to plug your ears if it gets to be too much,” he joked, “I won’t be offended.”

She glared at him.

“I haven’t even heard you yet so I am _not_ going to come to any conclusions until you’re done.” She huffed. “Relax.”

“Easy for you to say,” she heard him mumble as he turned to fiddle with the CD player. The easygoing, rolling rhythm of the piano accompaniment filled the trailer as he faced her again, squaring his shoulders and looking down at his music.

_Someone to hold me too close_

_Someone to hurt me too deep_

_Someone to sit in my chair,_

_And ruin my sleep,_

_And make me aware,_

_Of being alive_

_Being alive_

Daisy sat back on the small couch, letting the warm richness of her co-star’s voice wash over her ears. While it wasn’t a Broadway voice by any means, his tone lent a unique sort of vulnerability that she instantly knew would work for the song. Adam’s regular talking voice had a soothing rhythm to it, and John had often told her half-jokingly, half-seriously that he wouldn’t mind listening to an audiobook narrated by the tall, broad-shouldered man.

In this moment, Daisy agreed, though she internally grinned at the thought that an album of Broadway standards _sung_ by her shy co-star would be even better.

_Somebody need me too much_

_Somebody know me too well_

_Somebody pull me up short,_

_And put me through hell,_

_And give me support_

_For being alive_

_Make me alive_

_Make me alive_

She let her thoughts drift as he prepared to go into the bridge. Watching him perform in scenes was like watching an incredible force of nature reckon with a manmade construct — You couldn’t look away from the sheer power and energy even if you wanted to. Adam Driver bared his soul, making you forget that he was there and instead forcing you to focus on the character he was embodying. He made you believe in the character’s struggles. His performance commanded you to acknowledge the humanity in the character no matter how flawed they were.

Not many actors could do that with such authenticity.

Daisy felt a wave of gratitude come over her. She respected Adam highly and counted herself lucky to be able to work with him for the past six years. The world was too small for someone as inspirational as him, she contemplated.

A smile fought to grow on her face as she took that thought both figuratively and literally.

Adam Driver was a mountain of a man, and she was sure that if they had not met in the environment of being two actors on a movie set, she would have run away at the sight of his 6-foot-something frame. He was a massive force to be reckoned with; her fingers ached with phantom pain upon remembering some of their fight scenes from the past month when she was accidentally on the receiving end of his strength. (Of course, after experiencing said strength, she immediately encountered her co-star’s contrition and meekness.)

_Make me confused_

_Mock me with praise_

_Let me be used_

_Vary my days_

Daisy leaned forward as Adam sung to her, the earnestness in his eyes begging her for… _something._ She understood that he was channeling this other movie’s character as he sung the Broadway melody. But he was searching her face as he sang, urging her with gentle insistence.

A world built upon their shared experiences began to melt away who Daisy Ridley was; who Adam Driver was.

Here in the warmth of his trailer, sitting on the edge of the small couch as he stood before her, Daisy allowed Adam to draw her in. She felt compelled to support him as his character came to the crucial turning point of the piece. She locked eyes with him, letting herself be pulled into his world of song and heart. His dark eyes warmly pleaded with her, his sheet music forgotten.

_Join me._

_Please._

And in that moment, Daisy was no longer herself.

Rey and Kylo stared at each other as Daisy’s voice joined Adam’s melody with an improvised harmony.

_But alone,_

_Is alone,_

_Not alive_

Her bright harmony swelled underneath the fervent sincerity of his melody as they held each other’s gaze.

Kylo and Rey finally understood their duality with the Force. They were never meant to be alone for long—not when they complemented each other with a totality that rarely occurred in any of the other relationships they’d had in the past.

It was time to stop fighting against each other.

It was time to put an end to the lies they had tried to believe in order to shield fragile hearts yearning for another to understand them.

Daisy smiled as tears filled her eyes. In this cozy bubble of time and space, her heart felt as though it would burst from the incredible connection she knew was palpable between Adam and her. He nodded once, a hint of tenderness softening the intensity of the gaze they still shared.

_Don’t be afraid. I feel it, too._

Kylo understood Rey.

Rey understood Kylo Ren.

The piano accompaniment grew in volume and tempo to an exhilarating-yet-grounding foundation for the last stanza.

And through the moment of revelation, Daisy and Adam sang together, in a little trailer at the edge of a movie lot, their voices blending in a euphony of sound and completion.

_Somebody crowd me with love_

_Somebody force me to care_

_Somebody let me come through,_

_I’ll always be there,_

_As frightened as you,_

_To help us survive_

_Being alive_

_Being alive_

_Being alive!_

**Author's Note:**

> I know next to nothing about movie sets or what actors deal with behind-the-scenes, so please accept my humble offering of what I imagine the end of a filming day looks like. :-)
> 
> I’m sure there must be an astounding amount of “pinch-me-is-this-really-happening” moments and gratitude to be a part of such a project as Star Wars, whether one is a crew member or one of the main characters, and I tried to write about that in this one-shot.
> 
> I’ll also add that I do not ship Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley, and that what I’ve attempted to do here is to write about them in a manner that demonstrates what I’m sure is an immense volume of respect they have for each other, both professionally and as friends, as they’ve worked closely together throughout this 6-ish year journey.
> 
> Lastly, after recently watching Marriage Story and briefly thinking about the timeline of the shoots for both Marriage Story and Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, I thought it would be fun to imagine a vignette of Adam practicing his song in front of Daisy, to gain some feedback from her singing expertise, but then near the end she just gets swept away by the emotion of the song and her insight of the relationship between her character and Adam's character and decides to sing along. :-p
> 
> Thanks for reading! I’m going to check out for a few days since I won’t get to see TROS until after Christmas, but I’ll respond to comments after I come back online. Happy holidays to you all, and we’ll see you in the new year!


End file.
